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ATTENTION: SHOPPING CART SOFTWARE IS CURRENTLY OFFLINE
A message from The Preserved Brain of Josef Mengele, Webmaster
Dear VillainSource users:
Allow me to offer my most heartfelt apologies for the temporary unavailability of our e-commerce software.
Our e-commerce server, the OmniCon IntelliTron XII, was located aboard Space Station E-VI-L, the orbital headquarters of the Global Subjugation League. This facility was illegally boarded, without a warrant, by the so-called "Society of Lawfulness," who proceeded to violently assault the innocent henchpersons plying their honorable trade aboard that Station.
When General Mayhem, legal owner of the Station, attempted to reason with the costumed vigilantes, he was encased in ice by the so-called "hero" Dr. Freon, and is now being held against his will, in critical medical condition, at the New Liberty Asylum for the Criminally Insane.
Needless to say, the "heroes" activated the Station's convenient, obvious self-destruct mechanism, and a US$20 billion dollar facility, devoted to science* and peace**, was destroyed, and hundreds of hapless*** henchpersons were killed. The OmniCon IntelliTron XII e-commerce server was also destroyed, and until a replacement is procured, we at www.villainsource.com will be unable to meet your villainy needs.
We hope to have the replacement up and running as soon as The Cabal of Despotry has their new lunar base established; they have promised room for our server. Until then, we suggest you try Wal-Mart. They're almost as evil as we are.****
Head Brain of Josef Mengele
* mad science.
** peace through global domination.
*** actually, the henchpersons were aware of the risks, and had each signed a waiver absolving the Global Subjugation League and VillainSource of all legal and ethical responsibility in the case of violent death.
****Okay, we admit it. Wal-Mart is MORE evil than we are.They scare us.
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www.villainsource.com is owned and operated by World Domination LLC, a consortium of organizations devoted to the consolidation of global capital by a single cabal or individual. Member organizations include The Trilateral Commission, The Bilderberger Group, Alternative 3, The World Zionist Conspiracy, VilAnon, The International Union of Mad Scientists, Majestic-12, World Freemasonry, SMERSH/The Second Soviet, Switzerland, The Arctic Nazis, The Hellfire Club, Price/Waterhouse/Coopers, Sanrio, Archer/Daniels/Midland, Dr. DeSpayr, The U.S. Military-Industrial Complex, and Amway. ©2008 A.D. (-17 N.W.O.) World Domination LLC. Contact us, if you must waste our time: email@example.com.
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